


Slayers and Seers

by Whedonista93



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV), Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Crossover, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-13 22:34:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29036295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whedonista93/pseuds/Whedonista93
Summary: “Did I ever tell you I have a brother?” Faith blurts one night, drunk and feeling sentimental.
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner/Haley Hotchner, Spencer Reid/Buffy Summers
Comments: 14
Kudos: 52





	Slayers and Seers

“Did I ever tell you I have a brother?” Faith blurts one night, drunk and feeling sentimental.

Buffy scrunches her nose. “Uh, no. I’d remember that.”

Faith nods, a happy little smile on her face. “We’ve got the same sperm donor. He’s a piece of shit, but me and Spence… we turned out alright.” 

“You should invite him for Christmas.”

“You think?”

Buffy nods adamantly. “Isn’t that part of why we did what we did? So we can actually have families?”

“Yeah.” Faith shrugs. “‘kay.”

By some unspoken agreement, they don’t hide anything when Faith’s brother comes to London for Christmas. There’s too much weird in their lives for them to be genuine with him if they’re trying to hide magic and vampires. 

“The word adorkable comes to mind,” Buffy mutters to Faith when he climbs out of his cab in front of the manor.

“B, I swear to the Powers, if you hit on my little brother…” Faith growls in an undertone.

Buffy shrugs unrepentantly. “It’s been a long dry spell.”

Faith frowns, eyes turning serious. “B… Spence is the smartest person I know, but he’s not… social stuff isn’t his thing. A hit it and quit it thing would probably break him…”

Buffy elbows her. “Faith! Powers! I would never. Not with your family. I swear I won’t do anything unless I get to know him and decide to do the whole serious thing.”

“Promise?”

Buffy extends a hand, pinky raised.

Faith rolls her eyes, but locks her own pinky around her fellow Slayer’s, then turns to the young man ascending the steps. “Heya, Spence.”

He accepts the hug she offers a bit awkwardly. “Faith. I was surprised to receive the invitation.”

Faith jerks her head toward Buffy. “B’s idea. Good idea, though. Just ‘cause our old man is a piece of shit doesn’t mean we should take it out on each other.”

“Right… regardless of the reasons, I appreciate it.”

Faith smiles. “I’m glad you came. This is Buffy Summers. Buffy, my brother the genius, Dr. Spencer Reid.”

Buffy offers a hand. “Nice to meet you.”

Spencer’s hand shake is only slightly less awkward than his hug, but he manages.

“Come on in,” Buffy offers, hefting the suitcase from his feet.

“That’s, uh, heavy,” he protests feebly.

Buffy just winks over her shoulder.

Spencer gapes at the weapons adorning the walls of the manor. He reaches toward an axe.

“I wouldn’t,” Buffy warns without looking back. “Everything is very sharp.” She hands his suitcase off to a passing Mini with instructions to take it to the empty room in the wing she and Faith share before leading the way to the library.

Spencer’s jaw actually drops.

Buffy waves idly around. “You’re welcome to read whatever you want, but please don’t read anything out loud. Especially if it’s in Latin. Giles might actually murder the next person who sets a book on fire, and I really don’t feel like spending Christmas fighting an accidentally summoned demon.”

“I second that,” Faith agrees.

It takes two days for them to convince Spencer they’re neither crazy nor cult members and he spends the rest of his visit devouring their library. Buffy’s mind boggles at the speed he reads. When he’s not in the library, he’s peppering anyone within earshot with questions about magic and demons, and blushing at Buffy’s blatant flirting.

* * *

Spencer frowns at the crime scene photos.

Next to him, Derek shakes his head. “Something about this doesn’t add up.” He points to a set of photos. “We know the first victim was killed here,” he jabs his finger against the map, “at about 2300. The body was dumped here,” he points to another spot on the map, “within an hour of that. There is no possible way to travel that distance in such a short amount of time. Similar impossible time frame issues with the other three victims.”

“And we still haven’t been able to find anything on this particular form of ritualization,” Emily adds.

Spencer’s frown deepens. “I’m going for coffee.” He turns and stalks out of the room without waiting for an acknowledgement. As soon as he’s outside the building, he pulls his cell phone out and dials the number Buffy gave him several months ago, when he left London after Christmas.

“Hello?” She answers hesitantly.

“Buffy, it’s S-”

“Spencer!” She exclaims.

“Yes.”

“What took you so long to call?”

“I--uh, well, I--I need help on a case.”

He can practically hear her pouting. “And here I was hoping this was a social call.”

“Sorry.”

“No worries. You need _my_ help with one of your cases?”

“I believe so. I’m going to send you a few photos.” He pulls his phone away from his ear long enough to text a few of the crime scene photos to her.

“Gnarly,” she grouses.

Spencer can picture the exact way she’s scrunching her nose. “Quite. No one on my team recognizes this particular form of ritualization. I thought perhaps it might be demonic in nature.”

Buffy huffs. “Yeah, probably. I’ll get it to my- Oh! Giles! C’mere. Recognize this?”

Spencer hears a choking and sputtering followed by Giles exasperated, “You couldn’t have let me swallow my tea first?”

“Sorry,” Buffy mutters sheepishly.

“The markings alone are not indicative of any one-”

“I have victimology,” Spencer offers.

“Buffy! You didn’t say you were on the phone!” Giles reprimands.

“Oh, right,” Buffy says. “Spencer needs help.”

“Right. Spencer?”

“Victims are all males in their late-twenties to mid-thirties. They were all described as socially awkward and we’re reasonably sure they were all virgins. Four victims in the last four days. All of them had these runes carved into their bodies and all of them were moved an impossible distance for the time frame they were moved in. I remembered reading that certain demons could teleport and I hoped you might have some insight.”

The sound of glass breaking is followed by a stream of cursing from Giles.

“I’m guessing that means he knows something,” Buffy observes drily. “You know if you’re dealing with a demon, your team is _so_ not prepared.”

Spencer flinches. “I know.”

“You said four victims in four days?” Giles asks.

“Yes. Wait, no. I just got a text. Fifth victim has been found.”

“There will be two more within the next two days. And you are dealing with a demon, but you are dealing with a demon that has the ability to appear human.”

“How many demons can teleport _and_ look human?” Buffy asks.

“One,” Giles answers. “Do you remember dealing with the Mok’tagor your freshman year of college?”

Buffy grinds her teeth together audibly.

“Precisely. There is more than one ritual to gain a soul. This is one of the more gruesome. Why are you frowning like that?”

“Spence?” Buffy asks in an odd tone.

“Yes?”

“How small of a town?”

“Very.”

“How many more men that match the victim criteria?”

Spencer sighs. “We’re not entirely sure. How many twenty to thirty year old men are willing to admit that they’re virgins? But it’s a small town. Everyone knows everyone else’s business type town, so we have one that we believe may be the next victim, and he’s under protective surveillance, but… it really is a small town. We have reasonable belief that he may be the last resident of the town that actually fits the criteria. You’re positive about there being two more victims?”

“Yes,” Giles confirms. “The ritual requires seven pure souls.”

Buffy covers her cell’s mouthpiece with her hand. “Spence matches the victim profile.”

Giles pales and nods.

“I’m going.”

“I’ll call the coven. Get you there as quick as we can.”

Buffy nods and uncovers the phone. “Spence, I’m coming to you. Where are you?”

“Kansas.”

“Text me the coordinates of a field where no one will notice someone appearing out of thin air.”

“Um, okay…”

Buffy lets herself into Spencer’s hotel room via the balcony window and manages to clamp her hand over his mouth before he screams.

Once the recognition dawns in his eyes, she releases him.

“How’d you get here so fast?”

Buffy waves her hands. “Magic.”

Spencer huffs. “Right. _Why_ did you get here so fast?”

Buffy winces. “Aren’t you supposed to be the smart one?”

Spencer’s face goes blank in a way Buffy recognizes as him filtering through his near perfect recall. His eyes blink open slowly. “If we were right about the last local victim, I am the only person left in the area that matches the victim profile.”

Buffy nods. “Bingo.”

“So I’m bait?”

“No! I want to catch her before she gets the other guy.”

“She?”

Buffy nods. “Giles said this ritual requires souls from the opposite gender of the demon conducting it.”

Spencer holds his hands up. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I don’t want to know.”

Buffy grimaces. “Trust me, you _really_ don’t.”

“So now that you’re here, what do we do?”

Buffy hands him a book, old and leather bound. “This describes the ritual. Read it, call your team. Tell them you remember reading about the ritual, but didn’t think of it right away because the language was different. Sell it as a cult, if you have to.”

Spencer nods. “I can do that.”

“Now, Spence.”

Spencer jumps a bit. “Right.” He starts flipping through the book.

Buffy smiles. “Call me if your team finds anything. Trust me when I tell you it’ll be better if I get to her before your team does.”

“Call - where are you going?”

Buffy grins. “Hunting.”

“What if she gets to him before you get to her?”

“Then you’d better come up with an excuse to give your team.”

“Excuse for what?”

“Why you suddenly have a blonde shadow.” She smacks a kiss on his forehead and goes back out the window she came in.

The demon population is nearly non-existent in a town this small, so it takes Buffy less than two hours to work her way through the whole of it. She discovers the Mok’tagor is being careful - no one local knows of one coming into the area. Spencer calls late the next morning to tell her they found another body.

“There were uniforms on the house all night, and she still managed to kill him in his own house,” she can practically hear Spencer’s frown.

“She can teleport, remember?”

“Wouldn’t he have screamed?” Spencer asks quietly.

Buffy frowns. “Don’t think about it, Spence. Where are you?”

“Police station.”

“Stay there, stay with a group, start thinking of excuses. I’m on my way.”

It's pure, unadulterated luck that Buffy passes a familiar face downtown, two blocks before she reaches the police station. "If it isn't the literal roommate from hell," Buffy chirps sweetly, shoving Kathy into an empty alley, then through the back door of a blessedly abandoned shopfront.

Kathy lunges at Buffy with a snarl and Buffy ducks out of the way, then grabs Kathy by the back of the shirt and throws her back across the room before she pulls the magic smoke bomb the coven had come up with. Kathy stumbles into the ground face first, effectively paralyzed. Buffy kicks her over on her back, then goes about summoning Taparrich with a happy whistle. The demon frowns down at Kathy when he appears.

Buffy steps in between him and his daughter.

"What's the meaning of this?" Taparrich demands.

Buffy smiles, too broad to be genuine. "Last time your daughter tried to ruin my life, I didn't get the chance to introduce myself. I'm Buffy, the Vampire Slayer."

Taparrich takes a step back.

Buffy's smile sharpens, predatory. "Here's the deal. She killed six humans. She drew attention from the human authorities and they won't let it be. She wants to be human so bad? Here's her chance. You have the ability to take away her teleportation."

"I do."

"I know. It wasn't a question. You're going to do it. Then I'm gonna bind her into her human guise. Then she's going to turn herself into the authorities. If she's lucky, she'll end up in a nut house instead of prison."

Spencer frowns down at the screen of his phone, trying to make sense of Buffy's cryptic text, when a slim, dark haired woman stumbles into the police department and lunges at him. He stumbles back, barely avoiding her grasping fingers before Hotch and Derek manage to restrain her.

"He's mine!" The woman screeches, struggling against her captors. "He's the last one! I need him!!!"

"That might be the fastest example of a devolve I've ever seen," Emily gapes at the screaming woman. "You alright, Reid?"

Spencer nods. "Yeah. I, uh, yeah. Case closed, I guess?"

Emily scoffs. "Looks like… are you really a virgin?"

Spencer blushes and mutters a nonanswer before slinking away. His phone buzzes with several more messages, all from Buffy.

_You're welcome._

_She can't teleport anymore, btw._

_Pick me up at the bar tonight, if you guys are staying that long._

_We really should do something about that whole virgin thing._

_I mean, as long as you're not actually opposed to all the flirting from me the last few months._

Spencer chokes on his coffee.

**I thought you were teasing.**

_Nope. Promised big sis I wouldn't. So?_

**Pick you up, or “pick you up”?**

_Second one_

**I'll see you tonight.**

_:)_

**We can skip the bar.**

_No way. I wanna see your moves ;)_

* * *

"NIWC," Buffy answers the manor phone in a bored tone.

"Hi," a nervous female voice greets her back. "This is Agent Jennifer Jaereau with the FBI. I'm trying to reach Faith Lehane."

Buffy shoots to her feet, gripping the phone hard enough she hears the plastic start to crack. "Is Spencer okay?!"

"Is this Miss Lehane? I'm sorry, I can really only discuss this with Faith Lehane or B-"

"Buffy Summers. I should be his list too."

"Yes, Miss Summers, of course. It's-"

"Is. Spencer. Okay?"

"He's okay."

Buffy collapses back into her chair.

"He was… I don't know how to put this delicately, Miss Summers, I'm sorry. Agent Reid was kidnapped and tortured. He's alive, and largely unharmed, all things considered, but quite honestly… no, he's not okay. I believe it would be beneficial if someone outside the team were to be there for him when he gets home."

Buffy lets out a shaky breath. "I'm on my way."

They don't let her out onto the tarmac until the jet has landed, and then Buffy paces the asphalt restlessly, waiting for the steps to lower. Several people pile out of the plane before Spencer finally descends, gently supported by a slim blonde.

Buffy steps forward. "Spence?"

Spencer's head snaps up. As soon as he sees Buffy, he stumbles away from the other blonde and barrels into Buffy, immediately hunching and burying his face in her hair. "You're here."

"I'm here." For appearances sake, she pretends to stumble and shuffles them both gently to the ground. Spencer is practically in her lap. She smooths her hands down his back as he sobs into her neck. "Shh, it's okay, Spence. I've got you."

He pulls back just enough to bring his face up to hers.

She obliges his silent request and kisses him gently. She pulls back at the tang of blood on her tongue and frowns at his split lip, then frowns further at the taste of his blood. It's not right. She pulls back further to smooth his hair away from his face and look into his eyes. They're glassy, unfocused, and dilated wrong. "Spence? What the fuck did he do to you?!"

"Faith's mouth is rubbing off on you," Spencer smiles wanly.

Buffy frowns. "Spencer."

He swallows. "Pocket.”

Buffy reaches into his pocket and pulls out two glass vials. "Dilaudid?"

"He dosed me with it. A lot. I didn't… if they found it while we were there, they would've made me stay in the hospital there and I just wanted to come home."

Buffy's eyes fill with tears and she kisses his forehead, then let's him buy his face back in her neck. She looks up to find a dark haired man hovering nearby. "Aaron?"

Hotch looks surprised. "Buffy?"

"You're FBI?"

"SSA Aaron Hotchner."

Buffy snorts. "Hotch. Guess I would've figured that out if I'd ever bothered to learn your last name."

"How do you-"

"He's Faith's brother."

"Oh.I never… his file doesn’t list any family."

“Because Faith has so many legitimate records,” Buffy scoffs.

Hotch’s lips twitch. “Fair enough.”

Buffy holds the vials up. 

Hotch takes them and frowns. "What?"

"Asshole was drugging Reid the whole time he had him."

Hotch runs his free hand over his face. "I didn't even-”

"He didn't want you to know," Buffy cuts him off. "He wanted to come home and he knew if he told you, you'd make him get treated in a hospital there."

Hotch scowls. "Hospital now."

Buffy nods. "Couldn't agree more." She lowers her mouth toward Spencer's ear. "Spence, baby, we gotta move. Get you some help. I'll do all the work, but your team is gonna have questions if it doesn't at least look like you're walking mostly on your own."

Spencer shudders against her.

"I'm not going anywhere, Spence. A Hellmouth could open under us and I'd just keep holding you, but you've gotta get to a doctor."

Spencer nods into her neck.

"Aaron, help me stand him up?"

Between the two of them, they manage to get Spencer into the back of a waiting SUV. No one questions Buffy crawling in beside him, just like no one questions them all crowding into the waiting room at the hospital. Whatever look Buffy has on her face prevents the doctor’s from trying to make her leave while they’re treating Spencer. The next couple hours are a flurry of moving and tests and countless nurses and doctors and specialists, but eventually they settle him into a room for observation.

As soon as the medical team clears, Buffy climbs up into the bed next to Spencer and wraps her arms around him. “You scared the life out of me, Spence.”

He reaches up and grasps her arm tightly. “Sorry… they’re supposed to call Faith first.”

“They tried. She’s… way out of cell service. And I get that she’s your sister and all, but… Why’s she still first? I mean, we’re… aren’t we?”

“Of course we are. And it’s precisely because we are that Faith is still first.”

“What?”

“You said that I scared the life out of you. If Faith gets to me first, and can assure you that I’m going to be okay, your reaction is less likely to be… apocalyptic.”

Buffy buries her face in his chest.

Spencer shifts to wrap an arm around her shoulders and hold her closer.

“I would’ve killed him if you hadn’t.”

He drops a kiss to her head. “I know. That’s why I’m glad I did.”

She burrows further into his side.

He chuckles. “You’re not going to get any closer without crawling into my lap.”

She lifts her head. “Is that an invitation?”

“It won’t hurt me, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Buffy clambers into his lap as gracefully as she can manage, swinging both of her legs over his and wrapping her arms around his torso. “Don’t scare me like that again, Spence,” she mumbles into his chest.

He wraps his arms back around her. “You know I can’t promise that, Buff.”

She sniffles. “I know.”

“So, uh… how do you know Hotch?”

“Wasn’t sure if you caught that.”

“I was having a panic attack, not unconscious.”

Buffy rolls her eyes. “His wife is a Slayer.”

Spencer starts. “Haley, really?”

Buffy nods.

“Do you have any idea how much easier that case in Kansas would have been if I had known I could tell Hotch the truth?”

Buffy chuckles against his shirt sleepily. “I didn’t make the connection between ‘Aaron’ and ‘Hotch’ until today.”

Buffy doesn’t realize she dozed off until an unfamiliar voice rouses her.

“ _Awww,_ they’re so cute! How come Reid didn’t tell us he had a girlfriend?”

Buffy opens her eyes and sees a brightly dressed blonde who can only be Penelope Garcia, based on Spencer’s stories. “Probably because the government thought I was a terrorist for a while. Makes it complicated for a federal agent to have a relationship with me.”

“Terrorist?” Hotch questions.

Buffy turns a bit in Reid’s lap, careful not to wake him. “Interpol thought NIWC was a terrorist organization for a while. Had to dig old Initiative records out of the crater of Sunnydale and put a lot of government officials in a threatening situation with a few demons to convince them of the truth. Now we actually have liaisons with most agencies.”

“Initiative?”

“Paramilitary organization focused on my kinda stuff. They got kinda blown up long before Sunnydale did.”

Hotch frowns. “Haley never told me about that.”

“She didn’t know about the Initiative, I don’t think. And I repeat: a relationship with a federal agent is not a circumstance in which to broadcast your status as a former suspected terrorist.”

“Fair enough. How is he?”

Buffy rests a hand over Spencer’s arms where they’re still wrapped around her waist, even in his sleep. “He’ll be okay.”

“What does he need? What are you going to do?”

“He gets leave, right?”

Hotch nods. “I’ll make sure of it. As much as he needs.”

“Once the doctors clear him, I’m going to take him home. Get him away for a while. One of my best friends knows a bit about having to detox. I think being able to talk to her will help him. And if it doesn’t…”

“You have resources for him that the FBI doesn’t.”

Buffy nods. “Exactly. Not that they couldn’t, but your director doesn’t wanna play nice. One of the last holdouts, actually.”

Hotch shrugs. “Way above my paygrade.”

Buffy smirks.

Penelope raises her hand. “Uh, guys, most of that conversation just went right over my head.”

“Tell her the truth,” Spencer mumbles into Buffy’s hair. “It’ll make her day.”

Buffy looks at Hotch.

Hotch shrugs.

Buffy cocks her head at Penelope. “How do you feel about things that go bump in the night?”

Penelope’s brows raise. “Huh?”

“Vampires, monsters, demons, and so on.”

Penelope frowns. “I don’t know how to answer, ‘cause I’m a little worried this is some kind of gag.”

Buffy extricates herself from Spencer’s arms, kissing his cheek when he grumbles in protest, and hops up to stand in front of Penelope and offer her hand. “Hi! I’m Buffy. I’m a Vampire Slayer.”

Penelope shakes her hand on instinct, even as her jaw drops.

Buffy beams. “I’m also the co-chair of the New International Watcher’s Council. We’re the ones who make sure the only monsters everyone else deals with are the ones who are human.”

“Monsters are real?”

Buffy nods. “Very.”

“And you fight them?”

“I do.”

“Badass!”

Faith is waiting in Spencer’s apartment after the hospital releases him the next day. She pounces as soon as they’re through the door.

Spencer swats her frantically patting hands away. “I’m fine, Faith.”

“Faith, at least let him sit!” Buffy shoves her fellow Slayer away and helps Spencer settle onto the couch. “The bastard beat the hell out of his poor feet.”

Faith’s expression goes cold. “Are we _really_ firm on that no killing humans rule, B?”

Buffy rolls her eyes. “I was until now. But Spence already got him.”

Faith perches on the arm of the couch next to Spencer and ruffles his hair. “Good job, little brother.”

Spencer leans into the touch, not unlike a cat.

Buffy grins. “You guys are so cute.”

Faith tilts her head toward him. “He’s coming home with us, right?”

Buffy nods. “Yeah. Aaron is making sure his leave is sorted. We should be able to leave tomorrow.”

“Haley’s Aaron?”

Buffy nods. “Yeah. He’s FBI. Spence’s boss… guess maybe we should’ve paid attention to his last name.”

Faith laughs. “Yeah, maybe.”

“Do I get a say in any of this?” Spencer asks, already sounding resigned.

“No,” both women answer.

* * *

One Month Later 

Derek looks up from his desk, then does a double take. Sure enough, Reid just walked into the bullpen, the mysterious blonde that Hotch and Garcia won’t tell Derek about right behind him. Derek leaps up from his desk. “Hey, Pretty Boy!”

Reid smiles back. “Good Morning, Morgan.”

“You back, kid?”

Reid nods. “Cleared yesterday.”

“You came back yesterday and didn’t call?!”

Reid winces.

Derek rolls his eyes. “Longer than yesterday?”

“Three days.”

The blonde reaches forward and squeezes Reid’s hand. “If you’re good, I’m gonna go talk to Aaron.”

Reid nods absently.

“Hold up,” Derek holds a hand out. “We haven’t been properly introduced. I’m Derek Morgan.”

The blonde offers a sunny smile and a surprisingly firm handshake. “Nice to finally officially meet you, Derek.” Then she flits off toward Hotch’s office with a wink at Reid.

Buffy knocks on Aaron’s door.

He almost smiles when he looks up. “Buffy.”

“Can I come in?”

“Please.”

Buffy steps in and closes the door behind her.

Aaron raises an eyebrow. “Serious conversation, then?”

Buffy shrugs and perches nonchalantly on the edge of his desk at his elbow. “Just wondering how you’d feel about me sticking around.”

His other eyebrow raises to join the first. “In a professional capacity?”

Buffy nods. “Yup. Your director had a brush with a vampire and he’s finally seeing things my way. He seemed to agree with the NIWC’s assessment that the Bureau’s premier BAU team would be the most likely place to run across my kind of nasties.”

“And that brush with a vampire… I’m sure you had nothing to do with that?”

“Me?” Buffy brings a hand to her chest and widens her eyes innocently. “I would never.” She grins. “I can’t speak for Faith, though.”

Aaron scoffs. “You two are incorrigible.”

Buffy shrugs. “It got the results we wanted in about thirty seconds when we haven’t been able to accomplish it in boardrooms in years.”

“Fair enough… why you? You could have sent any of your girls. All due respect, there’s some of your girls that are probably better qualified.”

“I can list five off the top of my head that are better qualified as profilers,” Buffy agrees.

“But?”

“But you don’t need another profiler,” Buffy tells him, more serious than he’s likely seen her before. “You need someone with the experience to recognize the non-human monsters. That leaves me or Faith. Our girls are well trained, but most of them will spend their whole lives cleaning up their local vampire population and taking out the occasional demon. We may call them in to help stop an apocalypse every couple years. The fact is… when we did what we did, making all Potentials full blown Slayers, we did it so they wouldn’t have to face the horrors Faith and I practically grew up with.”

“Whether it’s you or Faith, Strauss is going to argue conflict of interest or fraternization.”

Buffy snorts and shrugs. “This is so far above her head, the thought of her even trying is funny.”

Aaron’s lips twitch. “Have you spoken to her yet?”

Buffy pulls a copy of the liaison assignment and new chain of command paperwork from the bag hanging from her shoulder and offers them to Aaron. “I thought you might like to do the honors.”

Aaron frowns. “I don’t actually enjoy pushing her buttons, you know.”

Buffy raises an eyebrow and shakes the papers at him. “Don’t you?”

He chuckles and takes the papers. “If this backfires…”

“If Strauss doesn’t play ball, she will be replaced with a section chief who will. As of today, her position is for appearance only as far your unit is concerned. Your team will report directly to Assistant Director Barnes.”

Aaron turns toward her sharply. “That’s all in here?” He waves the papers.

Buffy nods.

Aaron full on smiles. “I might love you.”

“Can I tell Haley?”

“Absolutely. But tell Reid to have JJ find you a desk first.”

Buffy salutes sloppily and heads back out to the bullpen to perch on Spencer’s desk.

Derek gapes at her. “Was Hotch smiling?”

Buffy winks. “Yup.”

Derek shakes his head and looks back at Spencer. “Your girlfriend is something else, man.”

Spencer laughs. “You have no idea.” He looks up at Buffy. “Though I have no idea why he’s smiling. What, exactly, was the closed door meeting for?”

“Buffy?!” Haley’s voice rings out.

Buffy spins and squeals. “Haley!” She nearly sprints across the bullpen, and barely spares a moment to hug the other Slayer before she’s unbuckling Jack and lifting him into the air. “Hello, handsome! You’re getting so big! Can you smile for Aunty B?” Jack smiles obligingly and gurgles happily. Buffy cradles him close to her chest and tickles his belly, eliciting a peal of baby giggles.

Haley rolls her eyes. “He is a content baby, but I swear he’s only happy like that for you.”

Buffy winks at Jack. “That’s ‘cause Aunty B’s his favorite, isn’t she, little man?” Buffy coos.

Haley grins. “My husband in his office?”

Buffy shakes her head. “Meeting with Strauss.”

Haley raises an eyebrow.

Buffy smiles mysteriously.

Haley raises her hands. “I don’t wanna know.”

“Yes, you do.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Promise I’ll tell you all about it later.” Buffy saunters back into the bullpen and returns to her perch on Spencer’s desk, Jack still on her hip.

“Am I getting my son back any time soon?” Haley calls after her.

“As soon as he gets a dirty diaper,” Buffy calls back with no hesitation.

Derek is gaping at her again. “Okay, and now you just snatch Hotch’s child like there’s nothing to it! Who the hell is this woman?”

“She’s Jack’s godmother,” Haley answers, making herself at home on the edge of Spencer’s desk next to Buffy.

“My desk is not a seat,” Spencer protests.

Buffy smirks, stands, and then plants herself in Spencer’s lap.

He groans and drops his head to her back.

Derek chuckles. “You were kinda askin’ for that one, Pretty Boy. But seriously, is anyone gonna tell me who this woman is?”

Buffy opens her mouth to take pity on him, but is cut off by Staruss’ door opening and Aaron striding out, looking equal parts frustrated and smug.

“This conversation is not over, Agent Hotchner!” Strauss storms out after him.

Buffy groans and stands.

“You’re really gonna take my kid with you to dress down a high ranking federal official?” Haley asks.

Buffy shrugs. “It’ll keep me from punching her.”

Haley scoffs. “No, it won’t.”

Buffy grimaces. “Okay, it won’t, but it’ll make me have to think about it. I promise I’ll hand him to Aaron if I’m gonna punch her.”

Haley waves her on.

Buffy settles Jack more firmly in the crook of her arm and strides up, right in between Aaron and Strauss. She smiles faux sweetly. “Erin, right?”

“Section Chief Strauss,” the older woman grits out.

Buffy’s smile grows. She holds out the hand not holding Jack. “Hi. I’m Buffy Summers. And your conversation with Agent Hotchner is, in fact, over. Aaron was polite about it, closed office and all. Me? I have no scruples about being a bitch and I _will_ call you out in front of your entire precious section.”

Strauss’ lips tighten into a thin line. “Miss Summers, if you’d step into my office.”

Buffy laughs and turns to hand Jack to Aaron, then turns back to Strauss, stepping right into her space and speaking low enough that only the other woman - and maybe Haley - will be able to hear her. “No. Like I said, Aaron tried nice. You didn’t want to play. Those orders you’re clutching so hard they’re wrinkling? They are not negotiable, and they come from _way_ above your head. The rest of this section is still under your command, but the BAU is no longer under your purview.”

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” Strauss snarls.

Buffy frowns and dramatically clutches her chest. “Aaron, cover Jack’s ears. I won’t have my godson learning that kind of language from anyone but Faith!”

Aaron shakes his head, mild amusement shining in his eyes.

Strauss glares. “Who do you think you are that you can come into _my_ unit -”

“I told you, my name is Buffy Summers. I am the new liaison to Agent Hotchner’s BAU team. Which you no longer have oversight of. Anything beyond that, you can take up with Assistant Director Barnes.”

Strauss opens her mouth.

Buffy holds a hand up. “ _Or_ you can continue making a spectacle in front of your entire section, and I can make one phone call to remove said section from your power.”

“You don’t have that kind of power,” Strauss snarls.

“On the contrary,” Aaron steps forward and passes Jack back to Buffy, “she has that power and more. Walk away while you still have some dignity, Erin.”

Strauss looks like she might protest, but turns and storms back into her office.

Buffy settles Jack against her shoulder and hides her laughter in his neck.

Haley shakes her head when they walk back down into the bullpen. “You two are absolutely shameless, using my son as a shield like that.”

Hotch bends to kiss her cheek. “I didn’t expect you this morning.”

Haley shrugs. “We were on this side of town and I didn’t think you had an active case, so…”

“I’m glad you stopped by.”

“I think our son is being kidnapped by his godmother,” Haley smirks.

Aaron turns and nods at Buffy. “I amend my earlier statement. I know I love you.”

Buffy winks. “I’ll take him any time you guys wanna go out.”

Haley groans. “I love you too.”

Derek bangs his head on his desk.

Buffy bursts out laughing.

“We should make official introductions before Morgan gives himself an aneurysm,” Spencer suggests.

Aaron nods. “See if you can round everyone up in the conference room?”

Derek shoots up. “On it!”

Spencer stands. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so eager for a team meeting.”

Aaron shrugs and turns toward the conference room. “Buffy tends to make people curious. Curiosity eats away at profilers.”

Spencer frowns and follows. “Buffy can’t be profiled like a normal person.”

Buffy chuckles. “Nope. This is gonna be fun. Haley, you gonna stick around?”

Haley shrugs. “Considering you don’t look like you’re giving my baby up any time soon, yeah. Besides, whatever this is looks like it could be entertaining.”

In the conference room, Buffy takes the chair next to Spencer and spins to kick her feet up in his lap. She sticks her tongue out at him in response to the look of distaste he shoots her, then spends the time waiting for the rest of the team making funny faces at Jack.

A few minutes later, Spencer gently grips her ankle. “Buff, everyone’s here.”

Buffy looks up, and finds the conference rooms filled with the team. She stands and passes Jack to Haley. “Alright, little man, I’ll steal you again later.”

Jack gurgles at her happily.

Buffy returns to her spot next to Spencer, but remains standing.

Aaron clears his throat. “You have all, at the very least, seen or heard of each other before today, but it seemed appropriate to make official introductions in light of a few changes, which will be explained shortly. Buffy, obviously you are well acquainted with Spencer.”

Buffy winks at Spencer.

Spencer blushes.

Aaron ignores them both. “And you met Penelope Garcia when Spencer was in the hospital.”

Buffy smiles at the tech, who waves at her happily.

“To formally introduce the rest of our team,” he points as he lists names. “Emily Prentiss. Jennifer Jaereau, everyone calls her JJ. David Rossi. And Derek Morgan. Everyone, this is Buffy Summers. Buffy is going to be joining us in a new liaison and consulting capacity.”

Emily eyes her up and down critically. “Liaison from…”

“She’s the co-founder of the New International Watcher’s Council,” Spencer offers.

Derek frowns. “Never heard of it.”

Buffy smiles sweetly. “You wouldn’t have.” She turns to Spencer. “Do you have the-” she waves her hand vaguely.

He smiles. “The NDA’s?”

“Yeah, those.”

Spencer rolls his eyes, but pulls a stack of papers out of his messenger bag and passes them around the table.

“You are more than welcome to take the time to read those for yourselves,” Aaron says. “Or you can just trust myself and Spencer. We signed the exact same ones several years ago. They are fairly standard non-disclosure agreements.”

“Other than the memory erasure,” Spencer mutters, so low that Buffy and Haley are likely the only ones that hear him.

Haley snickers.

Everyone signs the documents and passes them back with no fuss.

Buffy glances down. “Spence?”

He nods.

Buffy grins. “Alright. So here’s the deal. Your team hunts down human monsters. My team hunts down monster monsters. Vampires, demons, etcetera. Over the last few years there has been a disturbing number of overlap in our respective jurisdictions. The FBI was one of the last holdouts for a partnership. Very long story short, they finally decided to let us play in their sandbox.”

Emily blinks. “I’m sorry, are you trying to tell us that monsters are real?” 

“Precisely,” Spencer nods.

Buffy rolls her eyes. “I don’t expect you to just take our word for it.”

“Then what do you expect?” Derek asks.

“We’re going the NIWC headquarters in England,” Aaron says. “AD Barnes has approved use of the jet for transportation. The NIWC is providing lodging and anything else we may need while we’re there.”

“What exactly are we going there for?” JJ asks.

“Training,” Aaron answers. “It made the most sense for the NIWC liaison to be attached to our team due to the connections already present with Spencer and myself. We will be, at least occasionally, be taking on a different sort of case due to this, and those cases require specialized knowledge that none of you have. Wheels up tomorrow at 0900. We will be gone for the next month. Make whatever arrangements you need to.”

“A month?!” Haley stands up straight from where she was leaning against a wall.

Buffy rolls her eyes. “Slow your roll, mommy. You’re coming with us.”

“I am?” 

“Duh.”

* * *

Derek lets out a low whistle. “We’re staying here?”

Spencer nods. “Welcome the New International Watcher’s Council headquarters.”

“It’s a freakin’ castle, man.”

Spencer shrugs. “A lot of the people in the organization live on premises, so it made sense.”

“Didn’t you just leave?” A curvy brunette calls, hopping down the front steps two at a time.

Spencer actually smirks. “I thought you liked having me here.”

The brunette grimaces. “I thought I was gonna have more than a week break from listening to B bumping uglies with my baby brother.”

Spencer blushes. “Uh, Derek, the lovely, but crass woman in front of you is my older sister Faith.”

Faith blatantly looks him up and down. “I might forgive you for coming back early if he’s staying.”

Derek grins and offers a hand. “SSA Derek Morgan, FBI BAU.”

Faith smirks. “Oh, you’re one of B’s new pet feebies. This is gonna be more fun than I thought.”

“Faith, are you being nice?” Buffy sidles up and tucks herself into Spencer’s side.

Faith draws an ‘X’ over her heart with her finger. “Best behavior.” She jerks her head over her shoulder. “South wing is all set up.”

“Thanks. Lead the way?”

Buffy lets the BAU team settle into their rooms before gathering them into one of the training rooms.

Faith whistles to draw everyone's attention. “I already know who all of you are, so we can skip that part. For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Faith Lehane. Your baby genius there,” she points to Spencer, “is my baby brother. B will be handling the first parts of your training with the NIWC. I’ll be in and out when I’m not hunting.”

“First thing’s first,” Buffy steps forward. “House rules. Number one, every weapon on the premises is functional. That means sharp. If you don’t know how to use it, don’t touch it.”

“Second,” Faith continues. “Don’t try to profile anyone here.”

Emily frowns. “We-”

“Don’t,” Spencer cuts her off. “You’ll just get a headache. The world the people here exist in does not fit within parameters we’re familiar with. Some would argue that many of them are not even entirely human. Normal profiling techniques cannot be applied until you understand the world they live in.”

“Third,” Buffy takes over again. “Don’t read any books out loud _especially_ if they are written in a language other than English.”

“Fourth,” Faith grins. “Suspend disbelief.”

“You mean like asking us to believe in monsters,” Emily says wryly.

“Emily, right?”

Emily nods.

Faith jerks her head to a pile of scrap metal in the corner. “There should be a piece of rebar in there somewhere.”

Emily gets up and goes to the pile. She digs out a three-foot piece of rebar, then moves to stand to Buffy and Faith.

Buffy grins. “Bend it.”

Emily blinks. “Excuse me?”

“Humor me.”

Emil shrugs and tries to bend the rebar. It doesn’t budge. “This is impossible.”

Buffy holds a hand out.

Emily hands the rebar over.

Buffy takes it and bends it into a pretzel with the same amount of effort it would take a normal person to do the same with a pipe cleaner.

Emily’s jaw drops. “That… that… what?”

Buffy tosses the rebar to Faith, who just as casually mostly unbends it.

Buffy turns back to the BAU team. “First lesson: Slayers. Humans are scared of things that go bump in the night. Slayers are what scare the things that go bump in the night.”

“Are you saying you’re not human?” JJ asks.

Faith shrugs. “We’re hot chicks with super powers.”

“Super powers?” Derek asks.

Buffy nods. “We’re not just strong. Most of our senses are enhanced. Hearing, sight, smell, taste… it’s how I knew Spence had been drugged by Hankel.”

“My lip was split,” Spencer explains. “Buffy could taste the dilaudid in my blood.”

“Kinky,” Penelope giggles.

“Told you it’s all in the blood,” Spike announces, sauntering in.

Buffy rolls her eyes. “Perfect timing. Lesson number two: vampires.”

“Awh,” Spike groans. “Come on, pet. Gonna out me like that to a bunch of government types? That worked out _so_ well last time.”

Faith pouts. “Oh, come on, Spike. For me?”

Spike rolls his eyes, but obligingly vamps out.

Tha BAU team shouts and aims weapons at Spike.

Spike leaps behind Buffy and Faith, de-vamping. “Oi!”

Buffy rolls her eyes. “It’s not like it would kill you if they shot you.”

“Still bloody well hurts!”

“A lot of urban legends about vampires are true,” Faith says. “They have no soul. Sunlight sets their asses on fire. They’re also not fans of fire. Crosses and holy water will burn and repel them. If you want to actually kill them, stake to the heart or cut off their heads.”

“Oi! I just came in to see if baby genius wanted to play poker, and now I’m feelin’ bloody well under attack!” Spike protests.

Faith rolls her eyes. “Killing Spike is not allowed. He has a soul. Long story, none of your business.”

“Also,” Spencer pipes up, “I am never playing poker with you again. Your idea of appropriate betting terms is depraved.”

Spike rolls her eyes. “Clem’s back in California. No kittens this time. Cross my unbeatin’ heart.”

Spencer nods. “Later, perhaps.”

Emily blows out a breath. “So, vampires, huh?”

Buffy nods. “Vampires.”

Penelope perks up. “Dracula?”

“Creepy asshole,” Buffy sneers at the same time Spike growls, “Poncy git.”

Buffy and Spike grin at each other.

“Wanna spar?” Buffy asks. 

Spike shakes his head. “Bugger that. You’ve got Faith right here.”

“Nope,” Faith backs away. “Faith is late for coven-sponsored teleport to Africa for a demon hunt.”

Buffy turns toward the doorway, where Haley is very unsubtly hovering. “Haley?”

Haley shrugs. “Spike, hold Jack?”

Spike shrugs. “Yeah, I’ll take the lil’ bit.”

Aaron shoots up from his seat. “You’re handing our child to a vampire?”

Haley hands Jack to Spike. “Relax, Aaron. Spike is great with him.”

Before the whirlwind of Buffy Summers spins into their lives, Dave doesn’t think anything can truly surprise him anymore. Monsters existing is a worldview adjustment, but… he was raised Catholic. Superstition has long been a forcibly repressed second nature. Slayers, though… he’s never seen anything like them. He never expected anything like them. Buffy and Haley move faster than anything he’s ever seen - he can only track about half their movements. And the force of their blows… he’s fairly certain they would break another person’s bones.

A number of Slayers teach them multiple forms of specialized combatives. Spike gives a slew of increasingly irreverent lessons on various demons. Willow shows them some basic magic. Giles teaches them about rituals - Buffy teases him about the pamphlets he makes. Xander lets them pick his brain about what it’s like to be a human living in and dealing with a world that’s so much more.

* * *

Six Months Later 

JJ clicks the screen over to victim photos. “Alright, Cleveland PD has asked for our assistance. Six victims in the last three days. All drained entirely of blood, with these runes carved into their chests.”

“Blood suggests vampire,” Spencer says.

Buffy frowns. “But a vampire wouldn’t bother with the runes.”

“Precisely,” Rossi agrees.

“Wheels up in an hour!” Aaron calls.


End file.
